Actigraphy anyone ?
Friday, March 31, 2006
For about a month now, I have been hanging in this state of impairment. The ability to let my torso rule The 8 hours has been deprived by some ongoing activities in my thinkpad. I have travelled innumerable places (every night) this month - month and a half and have seen many faces, climbed mountains, swam across oceans, met friends and friend of friends
But this nebulous state of sleeplessness I am in right now is inexplicable. Going through the motions of understanding it has lead me nowhere but to the 8 letter word - Insomnia.
On a regular week-day getting 6-6.5 hours of sleep is understandable. What I am scared of and what remains unaccountable is the delution and my inability to recognize a weekend (Sat/Sun) as "rest days". Infact its the other way around and most often I find myself asleep for 5-6 hours, thereby adding worries to the existing ones. Fear,Stress, Anxiety are the root causes and I gape which one could be the reason here.
Its all a matter of an hour though, the normal day continues after getting up (or soI believe) and from outside I look sane as ever ;-) . Come to think of it, I have made myself sit down to find the reasons for it and I go blank. Although a while later I see some glimmer of hope and it starts flowing like a wave .. Mocha, Anxiety, Fear of losing friends, Fear of getting old, Fear of not reamaining a bac., Fear of the Dark (no... not the Iron Maiden one ;) dont know what/why.
The worst thing in such a state is that the harder you try to pin a particular reason to the board, the deeper you get into the murky waters. And this trouble kills you from inside, while your thinkpad tries to adapt to the situation (little does he know that he's the creator of the situation) and your body is grilled in between.
And now this freakingly awesome weather has made me go nuts. How can one not get out there and enjoy (forget sleep maan - I say to myself), lets see how this week-end goes. But still, for now I would try to change my routine and my habits to remodel myself in the state I was, and the sane state (which has eluded me) of what they call "8 hours of sleep".
Archived in: Insomnia Sleep Mocha Weekend
Posted by Rajesh @ 12:23 PM; PERMALINK,
